I’m often told things like, “I want to make you happy,” or “I want to see your smile.” (I naturally have quite expressive facial expressions.) However, each time I hear that, I find myself vaguely unsettled by the idea of a “perfectly tailored smile.” Because I have no intention of acting against my true feelings just for the sake of it. (Though that’s a different story if I deliberately want to make things interesting and toy with the situation.) This is just my personal theory, but— By making a masochist receive, obey, and ultimately fall, I myself feel fulfilled. Perhaps it’s because, through that process, my own sense of worth—rooted in their masochistic nature—is heightened or affirmed. In that sense, my joy and my smile become signs of that fulfillment. So even if it appears to be an act of devotion, in reality, they may be satisfying themselves through me. On the other hand, I’m also quite often told in advance, “Please don’t smile at me.” If I follow this same line of thi...
I always enjoy bruising my subs. It's kind of a way to mark them physically, so their mind and body will remember me for a few days, maybe weeks if the bruise is intense enough. Sometimes, I struggle bruising my subs. They don't mark properly or easily enough... their body refuse to bruise. Or the sub's pain limit is reached before the bruise is fully formed... it's always extremely disappointing. But some subs bruise very easily, sometimes even a bit too easily. That sub was simply tied and lying on his back. The ropes weren't super tight, I didn't hit him in any way. I never tried to actually bruise him, it wasn't the point of the session. I didn't inflict any pain to him. He was simply lying on his back in a pretty comfortable position. Then, towards the end, I untied him and discovered the bruise. I was shocked and extremely happy. It was the first time I had a sub that would bruise this way. No need to hit him with a cane, flog him, w...